Single for Valentines Day?: Part 5 ~The Checklist~

So here we are, Valentine's Day has come and gone, and the days for posting my first ever blog series are past! (What a fun experience it has been to write my first blog series and to get the responses from different people. Thank you!)

So I'd like to close this series with a post entitled "The Checklist". So here we go!

This Valentine's Day did you ...

1. Choose to be happy? Choose to think of others first? Choose to make the day wonderful and special for the others around you?
2. Check your attitude and actions? Because people watched you as you went through another Valentine's Day alone. What did you show them? Did you show them your joy in God? Did you show them the trust that you have in Christ that everything will work out for good in His time?
3. Surrender your wishes, desires, wants, passions, your all to Christ? Did you give Him everything and are now content to wait and see what His plan is for you ... joyfully and happily?
4. Submit to the way God has planned your life for right now and happily accept that God's way is perfect? Did you submit to being single for no matter how long and choose to be happy in that time?

Now I don't need to know how you all did, but you need to be completely honest with yourself about everything. Don't go, "Well, I was happy for two whole seconds but the rest of my day was doom and gloom, but I think that counts as choosing to be happy." Ahhh, no, that doesn't count. ;) But also, as you are checking off your list I want you to apply it, not only to Valentine's Day, but to everyday of the year, so that when Valentine's Day rolls by again, and perhaps your still single, your struggle will not be as great if you've been practicing these things (and other good helpful things). It will become a habit, if you do it often enough. And if you're in the habit of doing all these things, you won't have to wonder how to make it through another Valentine's Day without doom and gloom!

Thank you all for tuning in and reading and commenting and encouraging! It's been really fun!!

Single for Valentines Day?: Part 4 ~Submit~

Along with surrendering to Christ your all and your everything, as I talked about in my last post, you must submit to Him.

Submitting to His plan, knowing, and truly believing, that His way is best. Submitting to whatever happens!

Submit:
Transitive Verb:

1. To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.
2. To subject to a condition or process.
3. To commit (something) to the consideration or judgment of another.

Intransitive Verb:

1. To give in to the authority, power, or desires of another.
2. To allow oneself to be subjected to something.

Willingly placing your life in God's hands, and letting go. Happily accepting whatever God brings into your life, waiting or not waiting for the man you dream of.

It's not always easy to submit, just as submitting to our parents isn't always easy, but we submit, because we love God, and because we know that He knows better then us. God has planned all, from beginning to end and we, at this point in time, only see a small portion of what's going on, and at times, we don't like what we see. Waiting is not really what any girl plans on when she wants to be married. But planned on or not, it is often what happens, and it's hard. But submitting to waiting, submitting to God's perfect plan, is something we can joyfully do! Submitting doesn't have to be a horrid thing. Joyfully submitting is what God wants us to do! It's not rolling your eyes and saying, "Okay, I have to submit, so here I go," and it's not "Well, I don't have any other choice. I really can't do anything to change how long I have to wait so I might as well submit." No, it's, "I know God's way is better then mine, and once I take my hands off and joyfully wait to see what He has planned, I can see my life unfold in ways I never even thought or dreamed of. God's ways are so much more wonderful then anything I could ever have worked out!"

Submitting to God means that you take your hands off of the things in life that you really have no control over, like how long waiting for a man, or what man will come into your life, etc.. But that doesn't mean, however, that you just sit back and say, "Well, whatever happens happens." On the contrary, although you submit to God and joyfully accept what He has planned, you must work at trusting, at loving (God, our family, and our future husband, although we don't know who he is just yet) at preparing for marriage, at making sure, even in this time of waiting and wondering, that you stay pure for our future husbands.

Submitting to God is not a scary thing. He is not waiting for us to submit and then, once we've taking our hands off, He will bring horror after horror of unspeakable things into our lives to make sure we're unhappy. No! God wants to bring us joy in Him! And He does that when we submit, when we desire what He wants, and when He gives us desires that please Him and then when He fulfills those desires that please Him.

A desire for marriage is a God given desire! He's not, once we submit, just going to leave us with this growing, unfulfilled desire. If the desire for marriage truly comes form God, He will fulfill it! It may take years and years to fulfill, but once we've submitted and surrendered, and have chosen to be happy, we won't mind the waiting!

So submit to our caring, compassionate, loving, gentle, all-seeing, all-knowing God, who does not make it His goal to make us sad and unhappy, but quite the opposite, and watch your life unfold in God's way, and be truly happy to accept anything He brings, and you will be happy!

Single for Valentines Day?: Part 3 ~Surrender~

Surrender, does that word make you cringe? Or maybe roll your eyes, or maybe it makes you want to skip this post and find something a little more agreeable.

To be honest, who could blame you? Surrender, like give up? Like being vulnerable, like defenseless? In a sense ... yes!

But maybe we should ask, first, why do words like vulnerable and defenseless give us such a scare? If we are trusting God, if we've put our lives in His hands, isn't He capable of defending us if the need should arise? Why do we feel like we must defend ourselves, or not be vulnerable? God will take care of us, no matter what comes our way.

Surrender your single life, your hopes, your dreams, your passions, your desires, yourself to God and placing all in His able hands.

Maybe the thought, "And why would we do this?" is running through your head or maybe, "Been there, done that, it doesn't work."

Well, if so, then here we go. First: "And why would we do this?"

Why surrender, to be completely and utterly happy and at peace. To be tried, purified, to become the young woman God wants us to be. Surrendering our lives to God sometimes (most of the time) involves waiting and as young women who want to be married, that "wait" word scares us. But in that time of waiting, surrendering and being willing to wait, is part of how God shapes us and makes us into who He wants us to be. And in surrendering we learn to trust, not just in waiting for Mr. Right, but also for other things. Maybe after we're married we want children and God says we must wait, but we've learned from waiting for our husbands that God's way is always right and His time is perfect, never late, and never early.

How can you be happy by surrendering? Think of all the worry you could be rid of. Without waking up each morning thinking, "Another day alone? How will I get through it?" or, "Another day wondering where my prince is and wondering when he's going to ride into my view." And thus having your mind rid of worrying, your attitude will improve and you will be more pleasant to be around, and when people see that you're not sad and lonely on Valentines Day and they ask you why, you can say, "I surrendered my all to Christ, and I'm content to wait for His time in His way!" What joy that will bring to our hearts if we truly believe it!

When you surrender your life to God you are saying, "Lord, I need You, I can't do this. I trust You to do what You will in my life and I won't try to make things work out the way I want. I trust Your way is best, after all, you planned everything (even waiting for Mr. Right) and You're in control of everything (even bringing a man) You know what's going to happen, so why shouldn't I give You my life and just trust?"

And: "Been there, done that, it doesn't work."

First off I'd say if that's what you think, then maybe you didn't truly surrender. Once you've truly surrendered and let go (!), trusting God to work His perfect plan in our lives and His time, we will be happy and content.

If you've surrendered and you're still worried and discontent I urge you to rethink your surrendering!

Also, remember, we don't just do it once and then we're happily content to wait for Mr. Right for the rest of our lives. It must be a day by day thing and sometimes a moment by moment thing. And when you just can't surrender, tell Him! When the doubt creeps in and causes you to rethink trusting God, tell Him!

It's not a sin to have doubt creep in, it's a sin to believe it and act upon it because "Whatever is not of faith is sin."

So when you feel that you're starting to slip and question, call out, God will hear you and He will respond, if you're willing, and He will give you the strength to surrender and trust again.

This last part is a few of my own experiences I've put together and put in the form of a "conversation" between myself and God.

Me: Lord, I give you my life.
God: You won't be disappointed.
M: Yes, I know ... but what if You take a long time to bring me the man of my dreams, don't You think I should just do it myself? After all, I know what I'm looking for.
G: No.
M: But what if I let go and You bring someone that I think is ugly and someone I can't stand.
G: I work everything out for your good if you love and trust Me. My way and timing are perfect, it can't be wrong.
M: Lord, there is a man, he's asked about me and is interested in maybe courting, should I say yes and consider courting him? I don't know if I like him like that.
G: Don't do it.
M: But what if I say no and I lose my chance and never have a guy in my life?
G: Do you trust me?
M: Yes ... but ...
G: Am I not good?
M: Yes but ...
G: Do you trust me?
M: Yes! Lord I give You my life, my dreams, my worries, my passions, my desires, my all!
G: Surrender all to Me, moment by moment! You won't be disappointed.

Single for Valentines Day?: Part 2 ~You're Being Watched!~

You run a hand over your hair one last time to make sure nothing is going haywire and give a small smile when everything that meets your hands is just as it should be.

A short, round lady skitters up to you, armed and ready. With a few puffs of her make-up brush your face is once again covered almost beyond recognition, but you don't care, you're only thought is air!

Gasping for air the powder that hangs in the air around your face nearly chokes you. Soon the call is heard.

"Lights ..."

The lights dim and a spot light turns on, illuminating your form.

"Camera ..."

A thumbs up from the camera man makes your mind scramble for your line.

"Action!"

You freeze. All your lines just vanished from your mind.

You look desperately around. "Cut," you give a wave of your hand, "Cut!"

"Sorry, no can do," the voice of the stocky fellow behind the camera reaches your ear, slightly muffled.

"What!?"


Now, if you were really an actress and that happened to you, you would probably find some way to stop the camera and either cut that scene out or just start over from the beginning. But think of your life as being filmed. If you mess up in life, there's no, "Cut, I didn't say that right," or "Cut, my attitude was way off, can we try that again?"

What happens in your life is done, you can't change what happened. But there's hope! You can change what will happen; how you will act, speak, respond, think, etc..

People are watching, the cameras are rolling. What are they seeing? Anger at God for being single? An, "I don't know what God is doing and I don't care," attitude. An, "I don't need a man, I'm fine by myself," or maybe it's the other extreme ... "I'm so lonely, no body loves me," or "I'm never going to get married, I'm going to die alone," or "Doesn't any body care?"

Now perhaps those aren't the exact words, but what about the attitude?

People are watching you, unsaved and saved, young and old, friends and family. What are you showing them this Valentines Day ... or any day!

Are you showing how much you love your family, how much joy it gives you to think of others and not about how lonely you are? What happiness you get from serving and not lying around wishing you had a man?

And what example are you being to your sisters in Christ? Whether it's someone a lot older, someone just slightly older, someone your age, someone slightly younger, or someone a lot younger.

Especially for the younger (early teens and younger) girls, we, as older, single girls, need to set the example of what a single Christian girl is suppose to think about, talk about and how to act. As the little girls are just starting to figure this all out, don't give them the view of a sulking, hardhearted, angry at God single woman.

From my last post ... Choose to be happy, choose to show Christ, choose to be the right example!

Another thing we need to remember is that our attitude affects others. If we are lying around sulking, or if we're angry at God, not only will others see it, but it will affect every one around you! The way you, me, we (!) respond to singleness does, indeed, affect every one around you!

Be the right, Godly, example of a single Christian woman for all to see and watch, because they are watching!

Single for Valentines Day?: Part 1 ~Choose~

This post is the first one in a short series I hope to write called Single for Valentines Day? (if time permits)!

Reading one of my favorite blogs today I clicked on everyone of her links ... the two in this post, these two, and this one (I was particularly struck by this one). And as I was reading I was struck with how people are going about Valentines Day!

I have gone through the time in my life when I felt so lonely and sad (and at times I still do) because I didn't have a man. It didn't even have to be Valentines Day. Any holiday would get me down, sad, lonely and feeling sorry for myself. In fact it didn't have to be a holiday either, any day would be as good a day as any for me to sulk and be lonely. Any time I saw a couple together I was instantly sad and lonely.

To help "cure" my loneliness I would write stories and, in my stories, of course, there would be a girl and a boy, both lonely and sad, much like myself. In the story this and that would happen, they would meet, they would like each other and thus began the most romantic stories of all time.

And for a time I was happy, not quiet as lonely. I would take the joy my characters "experienced" and live my life with that joy ... for a day, at the most two.

So while waiting for another of the best love stories of all time to pop into my head I would read love story after love story from the library. Taking what joy I could from them as well.

But looking at it now, at all the time I felt lonely and sad, wondering if I was ever going to get married, I think: isn't loneliness a choice? I don't mean the actual state of being alone, I mean the choice to feel alone? You make the choice to love? So do you make the choice to feel lonely?

As Elizabeth suggested, let's be positive. But I'm going to change that just slightly. Let's not just be positive, let's choose to not be lonely, let's choose to be rejoicing, let's choose to be giving, let's choose to be loving, let's to choose be like Christ! Instead of thinking of what we, as unmarried Christian ladies, don't have, namely a man, let's choose to think instead of what we do have. And I won't lie, at times it's hard, so what do we do? Pray! God will give you the strength to do everything He has called you to do, even being single. Ask Him for the strength to choose to be happy, to choose to love Him and to choose to not be sad and lonely.

We have the best man we could ever want, one who is perfect in every way, who will never leave us lonely, who will never disappoint us (as human men can), who has given us His love, what else could we ask for? God has given us all we need for living to honor and glorify Himself right now, at the point in life that we are at ... all we need right now! If God saw that we could love and serve Him better with a man, don't you think we would already have that man?

So thinking about what we do have again we can remember ... we already have everything we need! Perhaps, it's not everything we want, but God knows what we need, when we need it. If He saw that we were ready for a man, as I've said before, we would have him. But if we don't have him, let us take this time to love Christ more, to rejoice in the time we have to learn more about Him and grow in Him, to submit to being tried, tested, purified, so that we become not only what God wants us to be, but so that we are shaped, more and more into the women that will be perfectly made for the man God has for us!

More to come...