Saturday, February 09, 2008

And so I have been thinking ...

... maybe I was (or better ... am) a little obsessed with getting married. Ever since I can remember I've always wanted to be married. When playing house I would meet the special man, he would sweep me off my feet, he would (of course!) talk to my "parents" (who would probably happen to be imaginary) and they would totally love the idea and my love and I would be married without a second thought (or to be more exact without a seconds thought. As I look back, my love and I married without any wedding planning or anything. The moment my "parents" said yes, **Poof** I was in a wedding dress and saying my vows. Funny how that works).

Barbies too. Never would my Barbies kiss unless they were engaged or married (because, don't you know, even if you're just a Barbie you must follow the "Do Not's" list (see below)). And the same storyline would be followed for Barbie as it was for playing house. (Of course it was always more romantic for Barbie because she actually had a man, Ken, (but I always changed his name to something more romantic) to fall in love with and she always had the best outfits to look her best when falling in love. *Sighs* Oh the joys of being a Barbie).

And that was just how my little mind worked, like I said, ever since I can remember, seriously. You would get married, that's what girls did. And I spent my time dreaming up the perfect man, the perfect time, perfect proposal, etc., etc.. And I knew all the "Do Not's" as well.

*Do not kiss a man until your married.
*Do not let him hold your hand.
*Do not let him touch you, except if it's a general handshake or an accident.
*Do not wear rings on "That" finger until your married, or until the man who has swept you off your feet puts it there.
*And so on and so forth.

But as my post title says, I've been thinking. And I'll tell you what started it all.

At church on Wednesday night I was talking to my dear little friend, L, she's, I believe, eight. She's a doll and very mature for her age as well. She knows stuff about just anything that sometimes blows me away. But anyway, back on track, she was looking at my rings, (I wear two: one on the middle finger of my left hand, and one on the ring finger of my right hand) and she was telling me that I should wear my rings on different fingers. She was holding my left hand and was pointing to the fingers that I should wear my ring on. She said I should wear it on my little finger, I said it was too small for the ring to stay on. She pointed to my ring finger, I mean "That" finger. My mind flew to the "Do Not's" list and I just looked at her with a smile and giggled a little, assuming she knew that no one would actually wear a ring on that finger, unless "said" things in "Do Not's" list happened.

She didn't. She just gave me her blank, "I don't understand what you're doing or talking about" look. And I've known her long enough to know when she's teasing and when she's not. And believe me she was not.

Quickly clearing my throat to cover up the giggle and wiping the smile off my face I just said simply. "No, I don't want to wear it on that one. That's the one for my wedding ring."

Again, a blank stare. "You have a wedding ring?" she questioned.

Now I felt really dumb. "No, I mean, if I ever get married, that's where I'll wear my ring. Have you noticed that's where your mom wears it?"

She shrugged and moved on to decide which other fingers I could wear my rings on.

But as she continued talking to me I kind of zoned out.

Am I just completely lost? Am I just so obsessed that I can't even thinking about anything else? Does everything have to be measured by the "Do Not's" list?

My sweet little girly didn't even know what I was talking about. She obviously had never even thought of "That" finger, or anything else in the romantic category before. She thinks about writing in her wonderful notebooks, drawing pictures, her coloring books, painting her fingernails, playing with her best friend, S, what kind of new recipe she and her mom will make next ... the stuff little girls are suppose to think about.

Thinking about it even more I realize I can take her unintentionally offered advice and get my mind off of the things of romance, love, perfect man, such and such.

But all that to say, it just really got me thinking. :) What do I think on during the day? How much do I focus on romantic, love things? And really, what should I be thinking about? I should be thinking how to better my relationship with God and with my family. Thinking of others as more important then myself, not zoning out in a day dream. Thinking of how I can serve others, not about who I'm going to marry. But, this is just me, thinking (writing) out loud.


Elizabeth said...

Ana, I always used to play weddings too. AND ... I refuse to wear a ring on my 'wedding ring finger'. (In fact, I'm always a little confused when other single girls DO wear one on that finger!) This is such a great post ... I'm linking to it, I hope you don't mind! :->

Ana said...

Thank you for your kind encouraging words! I, too, am a little confused when single girls wear rings on their ring fingers. Maybe it's just personal preference. :)

Rosebud said...

Well, what an idea! I guess you're right. I'm reading all your "thoughts for the unmarried" posts and am finding them very provoking; that is, convicting and poking and stuff along that line. =S Thanks for writing down your thoughts and the lessons you're learning here.